


Buddies

by BestiarysTheory



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coffee Shops, Crazy moments, Everybody dates each other, F/F, F/M, Favorite characters and ships in one story, Friends is my inspiration, Funny Actions, Heisler, High School Reunions, I love poop, Incestuous relationships, M/M, Malia being savage and blunt as hell, Marrish?Stydia?Sterek?Stalia?Staitlin?Sciles?Scalia?Malisaac?Scira?Scallison?, Multi, Other, Parents getting caught, Red Solo Cup, Sarcastic Remarks, Skittles, Stiles, Stupid Dialogue, Waitress - Freeform, You're gonna hate and love me., friends - Freeform, the boys being reckless, where am i?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 17:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10836138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestiarysTheory/pseuds/BestiarysTheory
Summary: AU: A group of friends reunite only a decade after their high school graduation. It's all rainbows and ponies until they realize they get more than what they bargained for as they go through this wild, crazy, fun, hilarious, shit- pooping adventure! (Friends is my inspiration!)





	Buddies

**Author's Note:**

> Please read and enjoy or maybe you won't and you'll be so mean!!!!

… …

_**The One With The Big Apple** _

… …

_**2007** _

_June 1_ _st_ _2007\. Graduation ceremony._

"… _.It's not just about growing up and finding your purpose in life. It's about making your own identity…Have fun! Have heartbreak! Make mistakes because only then will you succeed! And uh…world peace!"_

_The valedictorian uttered out her emotional, gut-wrenching, adorable speech to her class before she introduced the principal to read out the names of the graduations (in no chronological order)._

_Principal Hendricks, a white-haired man with wrinkles, pale in skin, scraggy in shape with a poo belly and round eyeglasses stood on the pedestal as he read out the names of the High School graduates of the senior class._

" _Ross Greenberg!" He called._

_Everyone cheered –probably because they would never see him again – as the most annoying kid in the school stepped up onto the stage. The Coach cussed at the boy when he gave him a hug before went over to the Principal, taking his diploma and squealing before clumsily falling to the ground._

" _Is he dead?" One of the students asked as everyone fell silent._

_When Greenberg shot up from the ground, everyone moaned in disappointment._

_The principal shook his head as he began reading the next list of names._

" _Scott McCall!" The Principal exclaimed._

_Many of the boys cheered when Scott, the former captain of the lacrosse teams stood up along with his best friend of twelve years then and did their little embarrassing handshake and bro hug._

_When he got his diploma, he did a little dramatic jump off the stage before running back to his seat beside his best friend._

_The next name was called._

" _Stiles Stilinski!"_

" _Yeah!" The boy jumped up in his seat before running past all the students and cartwheeling as he approached the stage._

_He danced as he approached the principal to receive his diploma. When he snatched it from the Principal's grasp, he kissed him on the cheek before leaning his head against the microphone._

" _Yeah! We made it guys!" He exclaimed, arms in the air and waving them around. "And uh…Hi Lydia!" He chuckled before he was pulled off the stage by security._

_Lydia awkwardly stared at her hands as the entire senior class laughed at the idiot Stilinski._

_The next name was called._

" _Allison Argent!" The principal grinned._

_Allison widened her eyes and shrieked but then coughed when her large retainer elastic band got caught in between her teeth._

_Allison turned to the beautiful strawberry blonde beside her. "My elastic band's loose! I had too much bacon today. Is there any bacon in my teeth?" She asked, flashing her metal congested teeth._

_Lydia laughed at her best friend. "You have bacon breath but you look fine! As always!"_

" _Do I look like Audrey Hepburn?" She asked, hopeful. The brace-faced girl with scoliosis adjusted her glasses._

_Lydia fell silent, blinking her eyes. "J-J-Just go up. G-g-go get 'em." Lydia encouraged._

_Allison walked nervously up the stage and quickly grabbed her diploma from the principal and back to her seat._

_Lydia grinned when she realized her turn was up. The girl adjusted her lengthy hair to the side._

" _Lydia Martin!"_

_She inhaled a deep breath as she mounted off her seat and sauntered her way to the stage with the audience in applause. She grinned as she took her diploma from the principal._

_As the entire senior class –besides the kids who were held back of course which was a lot – received their diplomas, the graduation song came up on the megaphone stereos._

" _Students stand up." The principal stated. "Move your tassel to the side as a beckon of the new journey you're all about to face."_

_Lydia and Allison moved their tassels to the side, grinning uncontrollably as they held each other's hands, impatiently waiting for the last five words to be uttered from the boring old principal._

" _Congratulations Class of 2007!" He exclaimed._

_A series of cheers uproar came from the students and guests as they threw their caps in the air._

" _We graduated!" Allison squealed as she pulled her best friend, Lydia Martin in a warming embrace._

… …

" _How does it feel?" Allison asked as she adjusted her neck-brace and frizzy brown locks._

_Lydia Martin looked at her in slight disgust. "Sad because I never got a chance to give you a makeover but from the looks of things, I wouldn't have been able to do much." She stated. Allison dropped her head._

" _I'm kidding with you!" Lydia laughed._

_Not really._

_Allison grinned but groaned. "Ow! My jaw." She moaned as she tapped her freckled, mole-d cheek._

_It was hard to believe Allison would be friends with most popular, beautiful girl in school but it was actually a beautiful story. Sophomore year, when Allison first walked through the doors of their school, Lydia, the established 'It girl', made it her absolute mission to put a unconfident girl under her wing and mold her into an irresistible girl like her but sadly that didn't work out…at least she gained an awesome friend out of it!_

" _Oh! Allison! My baby girl!" Allison's father exclaimed out as he and his wife came running towards the girl._

_Lydia watched the tall, handsome man make his way over to his daughter._

_One of the reasons why Lydia befriended Allison was to be closer to her hot father –which is weird because Lydia wondered what happened to Allison if a man like him could produce a child like her._

" _Dad!" She spat out –literally – as she inelegantly ran to her father._

" _Stiles!" The woman next to Allison's father called out to the dork of the school._

_Stiles dropped his head in shame and embarrassment as he moved from his friends to his mother who began pinching his cheeks._

" _My baby boy's all grown up!" Claudia mentioned in a kinder tone. Stiles groaned._

" _Mom! Don't do that in front of my friends." Stiles moaned. He widened his eyes when he saw Lydia, sneaking glimpses at the group as she texted on her flip-phone as a bunch of her obnoxious, blonde friends chatted about._

_Stiles has had an obsessive, undying crush on Lydia Martin, the popular girl in school the minute she kicked his apple to his groin five years ago. Yep! It was love at first lost testicle._

" _Mom! Stop! Lydia's here."_

" _Why? Your friends need to know how much I love you! I am so proud of you! Michey! You!" She expressed aloud, showering him with kisses on the cheek. Stiles widened his eyes._

" _Come, Allison! Stand with your twin brother. I want to get a picture of you two together." She stated._

_Allison obliged as she stood next to Stiles, rolling his eyes as all his friends laughed and mocked him._

" _Mom! Just because you married Allison's father when we were six and we're the same age doesn't make us twin siblings." Stiles uttered, adjusting his glasses._

_Chris and Claudia Argent raised their eyebrows at the two._

_Stiles glanced at Allison, also adjusting her glasses and turned back to his parents._

" _Okay fine! We both wear glasses but that's where the similarity ends!" Stiles stated, nervously looking at Allison digging into her retainers. "We do not look alike!"_

_Chris and Claudia smiled brightly, glancing at each other in proudness._

" _Okay, scoot in! Squeeze in!" Claudia said to her son and stepdaughter as she and her husband pulled out their heavy cameras._

_Stiles sighed as he stood beside his stepsister. Allison gave out the biggest smile she could muster. Claudia and Chris took a couple of snaps of their graduated children._

" _Where did dad go?" Stiles questioned with lack of interest._

" _He's right here!" Noah Stilinski, Stiles' real father said as he appeared from behind._

_Stiles grinned widely, about to run to the man who he looked up to for eighteen years._

" _Oh! No! No! You stay put. I'm not done." Claudia mentioned, taking a couple snapshots before giving them a thumbs up. "Done!"_

" _Thank god!" Stiles expressed as he ran to his dad to give him a hug. "Dad!" Stiles said emotionally as he patted the man on the back._

" _Hey, son!" He said. "I am so proud of you!"_

" _Thanks dad." Stiles uttered out._

" _Claudia," Noah Stilinski cleared his throat as he and his son detached from their embrace._

" _Noah." Claudia Argent nodded her head._

_Stiles looked between his parents. The divorce was bad but it wasn't that bad? Was it? I mean if they had to have custody of which dog they got…yeah maybe it was bad._

" _It's been almost twelve years guys!" Stiles stated, rolling his eyes._

_Chris Argent entered the awkward family moment and made it even more awkward by throwing his arm around Claudia's shoulder and staring the Sheriff of the city down._

_Noah sighed. "Christopher Argent."_

" _Uh huh…Stilinski." Chris' deep voice got hoarse as he scrutinized Noah._

_It was like that for a few minutes before the two grown men just laughed and gave each other patted shoulder hugs._

_Yep. Looked like their bromance never faded._

_Claudia wasn't too pleased by the scene though. Looked like she wanted to hurl or snaps someone's neck and feed it to her cat. Stiles couldn't care less as his eyes were fixed only on Lydia._

_**Man!**_ _ **Lydia. She's so gorgeous. Her perfect fair-olive skin, emerald green eyes that reminds me of a field grass, and her strawberry blonde her I want to just put in my mouth – Dammit! She's looking at me!**_ _He thought to himself_.

_Lydia smiled at the screen slightly before turning back to her phone._

" _Hey, Lydia? Where's your dad? Shouldn't he be here?" Allison asked her as she approached her._

_She sighed as she glanced at her mom flirting with one of her teachers with her Michael Kors glasses and handbag in her grasp and dressed in a Givenchy outfit with Louis Vuitton high heels._

" _He's stuck at work but omg! This is amazing! We're leaving this hellhole." She squealed. Allison laughed._

" _Yeah, I know! You're going to Dartmouth and I'm going NYU! It's going to be sad to be away from each other. You think we'll visit?"_

" _Why would we? It's a big world! I'm going to be a multi-millionaire fashion designer by day and lawyer by…afternoon whilst you're a -?" Lydia said._

" _An illustrator, Lydia. I'm going to be an illustrator."_

_Lydia shrugged. "Sorry!"_

" _Yep. Allison Argent's going to be the next Leonardo DaVinci or something…Is it Leonardo DaVinci or Leonardo DiCaprio?"_

_Allison rolled her eyes._

" _What about Jackson?"_

" _What about him?" Lydia questioned._

" _Is he part of your future plans?"_

" _Uh…duh! We're going to be married of course and jet set to Paris, France, Milan, Maine, Italy, Greece and Croatia together! With Prada…like do you even ask? Like seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"_

" _Prada your pooch or Prada your handbag?" Allison laughed. "Paris is in France by the way."_

_Lydia rolled her eyes._

_Lydia suddenly felt strong arms engulf her from behind and pull her close._

" _Jackson!" She giggled as she felt his lips against her ear._

" _Come on! Let's get out of here and do it in the back of my Porsche." Jackson whispered as he nibbled her ear._

" _I thought you brought your Corvette? Jackson! I told you to take your Corvette if you wanna leave with a bang?"_

" _The person I wanna bang is you!" Jackson said. Lydia glared at him. "Now it looks like I'm going to bang my horse."_

_She gasped. "Did you just call me a horse?"_

_Jackson rolled his eyes. "How thick can you be?"_

" _Now you're calling me fat! You know, you're not all that dandy either." Lydia pointed out._

_Jackson gritted his teeth. "I'm freaking hot and you know it, Lydia! Take that back!" He shouted._

_Lydia widened her eyes. "Excuse you, mister but I'm –"_

" _Shh! My grandmother's asleep." Vernon Boyd growled as he gestured to his grandmother snoring on the floor._

" _Go take a shit, Boyd!"_

_The biggest student of the class stood up, snarling menacingly as he came sauntering over to the two._

_Jackson's eyes bulged. "Security!" He called as his team of security people came running to the intimidating senior that got held back four times, tackling him down._

_Lydia rolled her eyes and turned to her best friend who gave her a slight disapproving look._

" _We're fine! It's just a little argument but Jackson and I are perfect! What could go wrong in the next couple of years?" She pointed out randomly._

~ … ~

_**Four years later** _

_Lydia graduated from Dartmouth University in New Hampshire._

_During the pristine, fancy graduation party, her boyfriend of almost eight years stood up and pulled up a glass which got everyone's attention as he was about to make a toast._

" _I'd like to make a toast to…this smoking hot girl I call mine." He said, glancing at Lydia who blushed. "For recently graduating and passing the bar! I'd like to toast at the fact that now she doesn't have to work because of her rich parents. Hey Mr. and Mrs. Martin." He winked at her mother who blushed and smiled sheepishly whilst Lydia's father wasn't particularly amused._

" _Tonight's your night baby! And I've got something to ask you…" He started._

_Omg! Omg! It's finally happening! It's actually happening! Lydia was going to get proposed to by her boyfriend._

" _Lydia Martin…" He paused, taking her hand._

_Shut up!_

_She's going to poop._

" _Will you do me the extraordinary honor of…?" He began. She grinned widely._

" _Yes?"_

" _Passing me the piece of chocolate cake over there?" He asked, gesturing to the plate beside her._

_Lydia's grin fell. Humiliation and disappointment all over her face._

" _Are you joking?" She demanded._

_He shook his head. "You didn't listen to me when I asked you to pass me the cake before so I thought…" He grinned, winking at her as he took his seat. "Thank you everybody."_

_Lydia pursed her lips together, eyes ablaze as she roughly grabbed the side plate and handed it to him._

" _Thanks babe." He laughed as he took a knife and fork._

" _Are you messing with me?" She snapped lowly. He didn't answer. "Jackson!"_

" _What?" He frowned, glaring at her. "What did you expect me to ask you?"_

" _I-I thought that you were gonna propose." She whispered angrily._

_He looked at her with crazy eyes and began laughing aloud._

" _Propose?" He guffawed, almost falling off his chair. "Yeah, right!"_

_She jumbled. "Jackson!"_

_His laugh simmered down. "Take a breather girl!" He said as he pulled out a velvet box and placed it in front of her. "There! Happy?!"_

_Her gasp was so loud everyone dropped what they were eating to see who died._

" _Yes! Yes!" She squealed, waving her hands in the air as tears welled up. She opened up the box to see the gigantic fifty carat diamond rock staring right at her. "Omigosh! It's the ring I picked out."_

" _Great! Can I eat now?" Jackson questioned as he took a bite out of his cake._

_She hurriedly pulled the out and slipped it through her finger and gasped out._

" _I said yes!" She cried out, wrapping her arms around Jackson's shoulders. "He proposed!"_

_Every one of high-class status people in the room cheered in silence, lightly tapping their hands together._

" _Congrats!" Many of the jealous girls smiled falsely at the girl._

_Lydia was so happy she could scream! And poop, why did she want to poop all of a sudden? That's totally not lady like._

_Nothing could ruin this moment._

~ ... ~

_**2017** _

It's been almost ten years since their high school graduation and things have definitely changed a lot here in Brooklyn Heights, New York.

Stiles, Scott and Allison still kept in touch after graduation even when they all went to different colleges. Obviously Allison and Stiles were still close because their parents were married but Scott also came into the picture when his mother started dating Stiles' dad a couple of years back making it a pretty complicated family tree. Allison went to New York University studying the Arts, whilst the two dimwits Scott and Stiles went to Brooklyn University. Scott dropped out because 'the pressure was too hard!' (Boohoo) and resorted to studying at a community college in Queens.

Scott's institute shift wasn't the only thing that changed. Allison…wow! Allison, a former accident-prone girl with a frizzy brown hair, freckles over her face, a hairy mole and a neck-brace to support her scoliosis turned out to be one fine momma! Who knew a beautiful girl was hidden underneath all those barbwire and metal. Well, when she reached college and saw the massive variety of people who would make a name for themselves in the big city, she decided to reinvent herself and underwent an Extreme Girl Makeover: Drastic Measures Edition and now she's a vixen.

Although….she still didn't let go of her clumsiness.

During their adventure in college they met up with a couple of new friends who have become a part of their inner circle.

First was Derek, a 29 year old, coldhearted, angry, dry-humored man with cuts of muscle asphyxiating his 6`3 frame making him pretty intimidating…and really, really, really, really sexy! He has an eight-pack, not six…EIGHT! Stiles bumped into his Camaro the first time they met each other and after countless death threats and broken arms –Stiles kinda did that to himself by thinking of the brilliant idea to pick a fight with a man  _thrice_  his size – but after much persuasion and idiotic remarks, Stiles managed to somehow befriend Derek and he joined the group. God! Derek….Oh Derek. Every girls' perfect sperm donor and every guy's perfect dream body!

Oh and uh… Did I mention he was openly gay?

Second was Kira, Allison's previous college dorm roommate. A photography major. An awkward, quirky, quick-witted girl with big eyes you'd think she spends her entire life frighten of everything. Her awkward word timing has made her one hilarious character in Allison's life and she's become one of the closest friends. Scott seemed to have also taken a liking to her and vice versa, but since they're both awkward people (So help them god) they haven't gone around to expressing their feelings for each other.

Third was Malia, ah…Malia…Malia! A self-proclaimed bitch with a motor mouth on her. Her sarcastic remarks and bluntness brings about some comic in the group and also makes everyone in the group wanna pull their hair out, especially when it came to Stiles. He was a bit intimidated by the fact that he isn't the only one who knows how to annoy his friends with his sarcastic remarks. The gang met her on a trip to Greenwich Village – where Stiles was having his first archeology seminar at NYU – begging for money by dancing and belting out her terrible vocals to the crowd. She apparently ran away from her hometown Texas after her family died in the car accident she believed she caused because she was rambling on about stupid stuff. Anywho, so she flew her to New York to start a new life, living with her grandmother who could actually be dead because she never moved an inch from her rocking chair for five years. Allison felt sorry for her and asked her to move in with her.

Finally there was Isaac, another peculiar one because he wasn't the brightest shell in the sea. However, his good looks made up for it. He was also one of Allison's friends from NYU, a fashion major and is now well-known model –in his standards – who models…you won't even believe it…

Scarves!

Not just any scarves, but the best scarves in the bizz! Polyester, silk, cotton-woven you name it!

So there you have it, one crazy inner circle of theirs and they all get to escape from their daily, terrible lives in this old diner called Beacon Grill across Allison, Malia, Scott, Stiles' apartment building.

This reminds me of a TV show about a group of friends in a coffee shop…

Nope! Don't be ridiculous! This is the most real, authentic, original group of people in the world!

Nevermind I said anything folks.

"Greetings!" Stiles greeted as he entered through the door and ran to their favorite spot on of the leather couches in the diner.

No one in the room said a peep.

"Brr! Who got fired?" He probed.

"Stiles!" Kira cried out, tears brimming from her eyes as she jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

Stiles laughed. "What did I say?"

Allison rolled her eyes, flipping through the cook magazine.

"Don't be so insensitive! You know Kira's little heart can't take the fact that she got fired." Allison said sternly.

"It was over three months ago! She needs to get over it. It's like she's going through the loss of a family member 'I got fired today! Boy! I'm going to cry for the rest of my life now! How was your day?'" He teased, imitating her voice.

A loud cry echoed from the restroom.

"Stiles. Kira's too sweet to deserve this," Scott defended his friend.

Allison furrowed her eyebrows at him before turning back to her mag. She gasped when she saw something that caught her eye.

"What?" Derek questioned, unamused.

"Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray are releasing their latest cookbooks…on the same day! Omg! I need to run to the store before they get sold out." Allison squealed. "Chocolate swirly cupcakes!"

"I wish there was cupcake flavored condoms." Scott said with a smile. All eyes turned to him, disapproving. "What?"

"Are you sure you shouldn't have gone to culinary school instead of taking art?" Stiles asked Allison.

"Cooking is an art! And I enjoy doing at the space of my home." Allison stated.

Isaac suddenly waltzed through the doors of the diner with a bright smile on his face.

"Good day, chums!" Isaac jumped up onto the stool. "I have some big news! I got an audition with and I'm going to be on the new issue of Scarves Couture magazine!"

The girls squealed.

"Scarves Couture? Is that a couture for scarves?" Derek asked.

Isaac nodded his head, adjusting his scarf. "Yep! Anyway, they want me to meet with them tomorrow. I also met this cute girl today. She had the cutest little ass that made me want to buy a cupcake."

"Don't scarf models have some sort of no eating dessert rule or something?" Malia asked bluntly.

"Yeah, yeah, sure but…oh screw you Malia! Now I really want a cupcake." Isaac moaned as he shot up and made his way to buy a cupcake upfront.

"He literally talks about scarves every day. Scarves this, and scarves that! Like a hundred times. It gets annoying!" Derek said.

"Nobody can say something every day and not find it annoying." Scott stated as he scrolled through his twitter feeds.

"Challenge accepted!" Stiles exclaimed, shooting up from his seat.

"He didn't even…" Allison said to her brother.

"Anything can sound annoying if you say it a hundred times like…Cup!" Stiles began, glancing at his cup of coffee. "Cup! Cup! Cup….Cup!" He frowned as he began enjoying it.

"Anyway…" Allison drifted in topic as soon as Kira returned, her face ole' puffy. "Did you guys know our ten year high school is coming up?"

"Cup!" Stiles uttered.

"Oh, we still have that thing? God! I'm not ready to see all those people again." Malia rolled her eyes.

Allison and Scott cocked their brows.

"We weren't in high school together." Allison stated.

"Cup!" Stiles expressed.

"Oh, I know! I just didn't wanna feel left out." Malia smiled. "Ooh! Guys! I had the best day! I met this really cute cycler after I ran over a cat." She said with a grin.

Allison gasped. "Oh my god, that's horrible!"

"Not for me! I got me meet a really cute guy! He was not cute like Lance Armstrong cute, more like Lance Bass!" Malia giggled. Allison frowned. "Oh you mean the cat? Yeah! It's sad…very sad!"

"But he'll survive! He has eight more lives left." Isaac said. The gang laughed but Isaac shrugged. "What? It's true!"

Malia chuckled and stared at the ground. "Ooh! Quarter! I call dibs!" She squealed as she bent down to take it.

"Cup!" Stiles moaned.

When she lifted her head up, she grinned at the quarter as she slipped it into her bag.

She ogled her eyes over to Derek who lifted his shirt up lightly to scratch his stomach, showcasing his abs. "Oh, Derek! Why do you have to be so gay? I mean, even just a little gay I wouldn't mind."

"Cup?" Stiles questioned, his eyes looking between Derek and Malia.

"Malia, my dick won't even fit in your hole." Derek muttered out gruffly.

"You won't know unless you try!" Malia tried to encourage.

Derek just scoffed.

"Heterosex is rape and gross." He stated.

"You know what? Fine, Derek! I'll also flip and date…Kira!" She said, glancing over to the wide-eyed girl.

"Hmm?" The quirky girl looked oblivious as she moved her eyes over to Scott who was smiling at her. Kira blushed and hid her face from the boy beside her.

"God! The sexual energy between you to is sickening! Just have sex on the table." Malia roared.

"Cup!" Stiles laughed.

"Yes! Ms. Toaster Fried Head." Scott smiled.

"I burned my hair only once! Scott! Once! And you think you can hold it against me, you troll?"

Scott shook his head, looking at his phone.

"Cup!" Stiles uttered.

"What's a troll?" Isaac questioned, confused. Allison shook her head.

"Malia, what happened with that guy you told me about?" Allison questioned.

"What guy?" All the guys exclaimed –except for Derek.

"Ugh! I met a guy at the bar last night. He took me home. We banged and that's just about it." Malia said.

"Do people still say bang?" Kira asked.

"Cup!" Stiles nodded his head towards Kira. "Cuppity-Cup-Cup-Cup!"

"So he's not boyfriend material? So you're saying you're looking for someone else?" Isaac said, before grinning as he moved closer to the girl. "Mahalo to you!" He whispered.

Malia spat in his face. "I'll bite you!"

Isaac laughed, wiping his face with the scarf. "I can do fifty shades style. I am known to be quite the Bondage expect."

"Yeah right! Cup!" Stiles laughed.

"Holy Mother of God! We're so old!" Scott gasped out.

"Why do you say that?" Allison laughed.

"Because our friends are dying." Scott said, flashing his phone to her. "Remember Ross Greenberg? Died. Apparently he set himself on fire with toothpaste, mementos, turpentine and Pepsi." He stated.

"Oh, god! Greenberg's an idiot." Allison hummed.

"Was an idiot." Derek pointed out.

"I resent Pepsi from here on out. I mean, did you see the new ad with Kendall Jenner? Handing a Pepsi to a police officer during a protest? I mean how freaking offensive is that. The only POC I saw were two black woman and a gorgeous Muslim, one of which had the job of holding the girl's wig. That's disrespect!" Kira moaned.

"Cup!" Stiles agreed, full force.

"We have Donald Trump as our president, what do you expect from the country? We're going in the dumps." Allison stated.

"Hey, the carrot guy is awesome, okay! He has the best hair in the bizz! If I had Mr. Trump's hair, I'd throw a raver! It would be like I was puked on by Elmo and Olaf's child." Isaac stated, laughing.

"Obama Care sucks." Scott stated. All eyes glared at him. How dare he? "That's what the president just tweeted!"

Allison rolled her eyes.

"Cup!"

"I had sex with a guy who looked like Donald Trump before." Malia said bluntly. Eyes turned to her.

"Cup?" Stiles questioned.

"Yeah, it was having sex with a self-absorbed old sack of potatoes with a low sex-drive and stamina. Yeah…he died!" Malia said with a chuckle as she dug into her bag and pulled out her dildo. "Oh! Oh! I brought my dildo! I've been looking for it since Christmas. How did it get here?"

"Put that thing away!" Allison scolded.

"Cup!"

Just as things got crazier, the door immediate ajar and a girl in a damped designer outfit entered the room, shivering heavily as her soaked hair trailed drops of water as she walked in. All eyes were on her as she sauntered her way to the front normally.

"Cup?" Stiles hummed.

"Please give me a Medium Americano mixed with a Pumpkin Spice Latte with no foam at 110 degrees!" She said. The barista scoffed. "Um…sorry! Didn't you hear me? I asked for a Medium Americano Pumpkin Spice Latte with no foam! Make it snappy!"

"We only serve what's on the menu!" He stated.

"I've had a bad day! You know! So I don't have the patience right now." She warned.

"Lady, we only serve what's on the menu."

"Okay! Did I enter a wormhole to a galaxy where this boho coffee shop/diner can't possess the technology and ability to give me my Pumpkin Spice Latte/Medium Americano crossbreed with no foam, half cap? Please may I speak to your manager if you can't comply with my request, barista!" She grunted.

"I'm sorry ma'am but we only serve regular coffee –"

"I am sorry but didn't you ever hear of customer service? And did you just call me ma'am?! I may almost be thirty but you don't see a wrinkle on my face do you! And now you don't want to give me my pumpkin spice latte? I just found out my fiancé has been having an affair with my mother for five years and I got cut off by my dad because he believes I'm too selfish and he kicked me out of the house! Then I get trampled on by a bunch of stupid kids and a cab driver just ran over a mud puddle and ruined my Gucci outfit and I come in here to detox my mind and a stupid, crappy serviced barista cannot bring me my favorite Pumpkin Spice Latte! What did I do to deserve this?" Now she was crying heavily as she began not making sense at all.

The group looked between each other, Allison more so to Stiles and Scott as they recognized the voice of the distorted, deranged lady.

"Lydia Martin?" The three all gasped out.

The upset woman spun around to see the group surrounding a table.

"Who wants to know?"

"It's me! Allison!" Allison gasped as she shot up from the couch.

Lydia's eyes bulged. "Allison?" She uttered out in shock at the beautiful woman. She looked over to see Scott. "Scott McCall?"

When she turned to Stiles, her face frowned. "And…who are you again?" She questioned.

"Sergeant Handsome!" Stiles grinned. Lydia wasn't amused. "Um…I-I'm Stiles Stilinski. We were in almost every class together."

"Oh, right! I remember! You were the weird scrawny dude who couldn't play lacrosse."

Derek, Scott and Isaac burst into laughter.

Stiles narrowed his eyes at them.

Allison walked over to her high school friend and pulled her in the hug.

"What the heck are you doing here? It's been forever!" Allison expressed.

"Yeah!" Lydia sighed. "I just got off a flight and I've been having a terrible day and I thought I'd have some coffee but clearly that seems to be a problem." She said, glaring at the barista.

"Gordon is an ass. We all got used to him by now."

Isaac's eyes were eying the girl carefully before he grinned enthusiastically to the boys.

"That's the girl I told you about! That makes me wanna eat cupcakes!" He laughed as he jumped off the couch and ran to strawberry blonde haired girl. He cleared his throat, adjusting his scarf and leaning against the coffee counter.

"Well…Mahalo to you!" He used his catchphrase on the distraught girl, winking and puckering up his lips to her.

As Isaac leaned against the counter, he discovered how slippery it was as Gordon polished it up and found himself falling to the ground.

Allison rolled her eyes. "That's Isaac. Ignore him. We all do." She held the girl. "I guess I'll need to introduce you to my friends. Lydia, this is Kira, Derek and Malia. Guys this is Lydia, our friend from high school."

"Hey!" They all waved in unison.

Malia sniffed her. "You reek of water and dog pee." She muttered.

Lydia sighed. "I need a shower. I've had a really bad day. I never thought the New Yorkers were that horrible? And now I'm broke. Ugh! I really need a shower."

"You came to the right place!" Allison smiled.

"Cup!" Stiles laughed, raising his cup in the air.

"Cup!" Everyone exclaimed as they did the same.

…. ….

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay so that was pretty horrible! But all Pilots suck you know but then it's always better as time goes by (not with this story, I'm going to be even more horrible lol) Anywho…so yeah, what did you think? Sorry for the cringe worthy writing and grammar but I have a valid excuse for that (Not that many writers' have good excuses for their terrible writing) but I have a five month old baby boy I need to constantly check up on and I hardly have any sleep and not to mention my fiancé has his stupid dogs barking all day long so…I'm a crazy psychopath! No seriously, if you met me you'll probably not allow your grandmother near me.
> 
> Ugh! I was told my best friend that I ramble a lot (Where does she get that idea? I don't talk that much!) So I'm just going to keep it brief. So that was my first chapter, please darlings…don't be harsh, review for me please! It's all I ask for. Do y'all want me to continue with the story or nah? 'Coz the power is in your hands guys!
> 
> Requirement: Not really a requirement but if you ever do review, follow or favorite. Review anything you want! You can even talk about your lives?! Talk about snapchat! I don't care as long as it is related to the story…okay I have to stop now because I'm being a review craver/stalker/idiot so I'm going to leave now.
> 
> Okay! Bye, honeybuns!


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